MemeMachineGo!

=v= I usually don't see intelligent things written about spam in the daily newspapers (especially my daily newspapers), but Jon Carroll recently penned a savvy and hilarious column about the many people on the Internet who are concerned about the size of his penis.

It's charming of them to take an interest, I feel. It turns out that 76 percent of American women are disappointed by the size of my penis. This will make it more difficult for me to attend cocktail parties. Perhaps I will spend time with one of the 24 percent who have no complaints.

To those who'd say he's being fooled by spam, he responds,

But right on top of the e-mail about my penis it says: "This is not spam." So you see. The e-mail "complies with all federal regulations." Not even Dick Cheney can make that statement.

=v= Also, let it be known that spammers are equal opportunity annoyers. I recently got a "Blossom Breast Enhancement" offer to increase my bust by 1 to 3 sizes. I can tellya, they've got their work cut out for them!