Some of the best of MemeMachineGo!

Syndicate MemeMachineGo!

« June 2004 | Main | August 2004 »

July 2004 Archives

The Gryphon and the Hippogriff were walking hand in hand

The history of the gryphon and the hippogriff.

The flying, trotting, weasel-eating hippogriff of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is a mythical beast invented not by J.K. Rowling but by the Italian poet Ludovico Ariosto (seen at right) in his 1515 epic, Orlando furioso. It was a kind of joke; since at that time “crossing a griffin with a horse” was a metaphor for something impossible or ridiculous. By placing exactly such a creature in his story, Ariosto had positioned himself firmly in the land of lighthearted make-believe.

What’s interesting about this literary conceit is that the griffin (or gryphon—“hooked one” in the original Greek) is another mythical creature, with the head and wings of an eagle and the hindquarters of a lion. But for the joke to work—for the hippogriff to be sillier than the griffin—the High Renaissance Italians must have considered the griffin to be a real animal…

Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Ticket

There’s been a lot of talk about Kerry’s possible VP choices. But here’s a new one from the source himself.

“I have four words for you that I know will relieve you greatly,” Kerry told the fund-raiser. “How does this sound ? Vice President Hunter Thompson.”

But do they give tech support?

I’m sure this is going to top the blog aggregators by tomorrow, but what the hell. There’s a new job opportunity for women who are hot, technical, and willing to talk dirty: askthetechgirl.com.

If you like super sexy girls with superior tech skills, you’re in luck. Imagine being alone with that incredible girl in your company’s tech dept. After hours.

“Ask The Tech Girl” gives you the rare opportunity to talk live to a super smart and always ready to go tech girl, geek chick or network ops cutie.

The next time you need some help, spice it up and call the support line with a little something extra!

Kamikazes for Khrist

=v= My sister was in town for the 4th of July weekend, which meant seeing some of the sights that New Yorkers only see when we have visitors. The governor staged a July 4th photo-op at Ground Zero, but the Statue of Liberty was unsullied by political slime this year (as opposed to, say, 1986, when Ronald Reagan turned it into a photo-op that included a few hundred Elvis impersonators). We also watched the fireworks from nearby the Brooklyn Bridge.

All of these sites are presumed to be terrorist targets, and at each location there were roving bands of kamikaze evangelists in matching outfits, who'd been trucked in from Kansas, Georgia, and God (presumably) knows where else. They were convinced that we were all about to be killed in a July 4th terrorist attack, and were there to save our souls. I have to admire their bravery, but I was less than thrilled with the contingent who added that God allowed the 9/11 attacks to punish America for embracing homosexuality.

At one point I thought we'd be better off on the other side of the East River, where there's a Jewish neighborhood, not known for proselytizers. The next day, though, I noticed that the Brooklyn Heights Promenade was littered with fliers from Jews for Jesus (the members of which are mostly not Jewish).

Efficiency

Meta-Efficient is “a guide to the most efficient things in the world,” reviewing energy-efficient products.

(Via Vegan Porn)

Listen, Bub -- he's got radioactive blood

I saw Spider-Man 2 on its opening day (without even realizing it — I happened to check the movie listings that Wednesday, and there it was — I assumed it had opened the previous weekend.)

It’s got the best superhero fight scenes yet committed to film. Doc Ock made a great villain. If you have any fondness for super-heroics in general or Spider-Man in particular, you should see it. And the story held together pretty well. I mean, I could pick nits, but I decided not to. Especially not when these folks have done such a thorough job.

Anyone but Bush

The Green party veep candidate is so dedicated to anyone but Bush winning the White House that she might vote against herself.

Breasts breasts breasts breasts breasts

Scary: thousands of teenagers are getting breast implants.

A 17-year-old who saw Dr. Edward Melmed before graduation “thought it would be a fun thing to do,” said the Dallas plastic surgeon, who removes implants and testified before the Food and Drug Administration’s advisory panel in October. “They regard it as having your hair done or getting a new watch. She had no concept that this was a serious operation.”

Scarier: a doctor in Germany is offering a subcutaneous titanium mesh bra that attaches to a woman’s ribs and muscles.

The effect is claimed to be instant, youthful-looking boobs with invisible lift. […] “The advantage is that a woman with these implants will never have to wear a bra again,” says Saylan.

But have fun getting through airport security with it.

Chilling effects

At a Bush Fourth of July public appearance in West Virginia:

Two Bush opponents, taken out of the crowd in restraints by police, said they were told they couldn’t be there because they were wearing shirts that said they opposed the president.

On the 4th of July. When we commemorate having declared our independence from Britain through a document saying we opposed an unelected mentally imbalanced hereditary leader named George.

Updated 2004/7/8: Mike has more

(Via The 18½ Minute Gap)

Comment spammers begone!

Like anyone with an MT blog, I’ve been plagued with comment spam for a while. MT-Blacklist helps a lot, and is great for cleaning up after the fact, but every comment spammer starts off without being blacklisted.

One problem is that MT blogs are so consistent in how commenting works that it’s easy for spammers to automate the process. There are some obvious steps to make this much harder that I’d been meaning to implement for a while. This article details the obvious steps along with several less obvious ones, and finally inspired me to make the changes.

This included changing ‘comments’ to ‘replies’ in my templates.Other than that, you, the end-user, should notice no differences.

It is to be hoped that I, on the other hand, should notice not getting slammed by dozens of comments advertising porn sites.

Small Beer, Perfect Circle, Trash Sex Magic

I heard Sean Stewart read from Perfect Circle at Worldcon in 2002. The entire audience groaned in frustration when he concluded — he left off at a killer cliffhanger, and he didn’t even know when the book would be published.

Well, it’s finally here, and Salon has chapter 1 and chapter 2 online. Read them and you, too, can share the pain of Stewart’s audience at Worldcon. But, lucky for you, you can order it immediately.

Mine will probably be in at Other Change of Hobbit today, along with Small Beer Press’s other new title, Trash Sex Magic by Jennifer Stevenson. I did a workshop with Jennifer once, and I’ve been looking forward to this book, too.

Would that be a Freedom Dog?

A Quebecois blind man with a francophone guide dog was barred from an English immersion course at the University of New Brunswick.

A blind Quebec student, who was denied entry to English classes at a Canadian university because his guide dog responds only to French commands, will be allowed to attend class, the school said on Wednesday. Yvan Tessier was turned away from an English immersion course at the University of New Brunswick because he would be forced to give his dog, Pavot, instructions in French.

(Via Follow Me Here)

Outrage fatigue

Sometimes I feel like I can’t keep up. The Pentagon accidentally destroyed Bush’s service records. Whoops.

Military records that could help establish President Bush’s whereabouts during his disputed service in the Texas Air National Guard more than 30 years ago have been inadvertently destroyed, according to the Pentagon.

It said the payroll records of “numerous service members,” including former First Lt. Bush, had been ruined in 1996 and 1997 by the Defense Finance and Accounting Service during a project to salvage deteriorating microfilm. No back-up paper copies could be found, it added in notices dated June 25.

The destroyed records cover three months of a period in 1972 and 1973 when Mr. Bush’s claims of service in Alabama are in question.

Strangely enough, there was no word of this when the White House released what they said were all of Bush’s military records earlier this year.

It’s enough to make someone believe the former Texas National Guard officer who said he once overheard a conversation in which there was a request to sanitize President Bush’s Guard records during Bush’s tenure as Texas governor. (Links from a Metafilter thread initiated by August Pollak.)

Updated 2004/7/10: Michelle Malkin notes that the Times has posted this correction:

An article yesterday about the destruction of some payroll records of National Guard members, including President Bush, misstated the record of White House acknowledgment of the loss. The White House indeed took note of the missing information last February when it released hundreds of pages of Mr. Bush’s military files. In a briefing paper for reporters on Feb. 10, summarizing those files, it noted that payroll records for the third quarter of 1972 had been lost when they were transferred to microfiche.

(Regular ol’ un-updated entry resumes…)

Meanwhile, the USDA is preventing a small slaughterhouse from testing all its cows for mad cow disease.

The only thing it needed was testing kits. That’s where the company ran into trouble. By law, the Department of Agriculture controls the sale of the kits, and it refused to sell Creekstone enough to test all of its cows. The USDA said that allowing even a small meatpacking company like Creekstone to test every cow it slaughtered would undermine the agency’s official position that random testing was scientifically adequate to assure safety.

What it didn’t say was that the rest of the meatpacking industry was adamantly opposed to such testing, which is expensive, and had no desire to compete with Creekstone’s fully certified beef. “If testing is allowed at Creekstone … ,” the president of the National Cattlemen’s Beef Assn. told the Post, “we think it would become the international standard and the domestic standard, too.”

The Agriculture Department’s Creekstone decision reveals the best thinking of Soviet central planning: The government shoots the innovator to preserve market stability. Though President Bush invokes free-market principles when it comes to industry downsizing, “outsourcing” jobs, media mergers and energy deregulation, those principles apparently have their limits when a company seeks to become an industry leader in consumer protection.

(Via Ethel the Blog)

Meanwhile, Orcinus compares and contrasts two Supreme Court decisions. Regarding having Dick Cheney reveal his secret energy task force documents:

Why do the president and his advisers need to be shielded from document searches by groups such as the Sierra Club? The justices answered that question by stressing “the paramount necessity of protecting the Executive Branch from vexatious litigation that might distract it from the energetic performance of its constitutional duties.”

It added that “all courts should be mindful of the burdens imposed on the Executive Branch in any future proceedings.”

And regarding Jones v. Clinton a few years ago:

Petitioner’s predictive judgment finds little support in either history or the relatively narrow compass of the issues raised in this particular case. As we have already noted, in the more than 200 year history of the Republic, only three sitting Presidents have been subjected to suits for their private actions. See supra, at 9-10. If the past is any indicator, it seems unlikely that a deluge of such litigation will ever engulf the Presidency. As for the case at hand, if properly managed by the District Court, it appears to us highly unlikely to occupy any substantial amount of petitioner’s time.

Of greater significance, petitioner errs by presuming that interactions between the Judicial Branch and theExecutive, even quite burdensome interactions, necessarily rise to the level of constitutionally forbidden impairment of the Executive’s ability to perform its constitutionally mandated functions. “[O]ur … system imposes upon the Branches a degree of overlapping responsibility, a duty of interdependence as well as independence the absence of which `would preclude the establishment of a Nation capable of governing itself effectively.’ ” Mistretta, 488 U. S., at 381 (quoting Buckley, 424 U. S., at 121). As Madison explained, separation of powers does not mean that the branches “ought to have no partial agency in, or no controul over the acts of each other.” The fact that a federal court’s exercise of its traditional Article III jurisdiction may significantly burden the time and attention of the Chief Executive is not sufficient to establish a violation of the Constitution. [emphasis added]

There’s more, but, like I said, it’s hard to keep up.

Turning on the TV

Wonkette is going to cover the Democratic Convention for MTV.

One question lingers: Is Ana Marie’s name avant-garde enough to connect with MTV acolytes? “No. I’m not even, like, Tabitha or Serena,” she told us yesterday. “I am totally old for them. I can’t be Sway but maybe I could be Lean, or Listing, or an archangel to compete with Gideon. Or I could use my porn star name, my childhood pet and street names: Muffin Witchwood.” Over to you, Muffin.

She elaborates:

The concern about my being too old for MTV is real, though I try to keep up with what the young people are into. I understand that this band “The Outkast” sells a lot of phonograph records. And I look forward to meeting the star of “Punk-ed,” Ashley Kutcher, and his lovely special friend, Michael Moore. Another concern are the security risks at the convention; Maureen Dowd writes today that the Secret Service is advising journalists to bring gas masks.

I think I’ll just bring duct tape. (Like I’m not wearing some right now!)

First thought: “I’d be willing to actually turn on the TV for that.”

Second thought: “Oh yeah. I don’t have cable.”

I didn’t pay much attention to wonkette.com in the beginning — why would I want to read D.C. gossip? Fortunately I followed enough links there over time to find out that Wonkette’s damn funny.

New Nigerian Spam variant

I just got this, which Google indicates has been making the rounds for the past couple of weeks.

Subject: CONGRATS YOU WON (LUCKY STRIKE LOTTERY)

FROM: THE LOTTERY COORDINATOR,

INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT

DEAR SIR/MADAM,

RESULTS FOR CATEGORY “A” DRAWS

Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice, the results of the First Category draws of LUCKY STRIKE LOTTERY UK. We are happy to inform you that you have emerged a winner under the First Category, which is part of our promotional draws. […]

You have therefore been awarded a lump sum pay out of £6,500,000 (Six million, five hundred thousand Great Britain Pounds), which is the winning payout for Category A winners. This is from the total prize money of £13,000,000 shared among the 2 winners in this category.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Your fund is now deposited with our transfer agents CASH CHANGE UK LTD and insured in your name. In your best interest and also to avoid mix up of numbers and names of any kind, we request that you keep the entire
details of your award strictly from public notice until the process of transferring your claims has been completed, and your funds remitted to your account.

This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants/nonparticipants of this program.
We also wish to bring to your notice our end of year premium stakes draw where you stand a chance of winning up to £50 million; we hope that with a part of your prize you will participate.

Please contact your claims agent immediately for due processing and remittance of your prize money to a designated account of your choice […]

N.B: Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will result to disqualification. Please do not reply to this mail. Contact your claims agent immediately.

The “tell anyone and you’re disqualified” bit is really a nice touch. This guy actually replied, and got the expected response:

Now I have 48 hours to return their form requesting my bank account information and the funds will be transferred after I pay a fee of 3,560 British Pounds up front.

And this woman violated their confidentiality requirement, and was told:

This is what I was told by the Better Business Bureau (and I quote): “International lotteries are illegal to US citizens and are often scams. These lotteries fall under the jurisdiction of the US Secret Service. Please contact them for further assistance.”

This is what I was told by my state’s Attorney General’s Office (and I quote): “International Lotteries are illegal to Citizens of the United States. Anyone entering and/or winning one of these lotteries are subject to stiff penalties and possible prison terms.”

That bit was news to me.

Cultural fusion

The Art of the Healing Buddha:

During the fall of 1998 the 5th grade students at Pocantico Hills School worked with Miss Ruth Weyland and Mrs. Terry Hongell to create a children guide to an exhibit of Tibetan Art. The children studied about Tibet and about Buddhism in order to understand more about the art works in the exhibit, “The Art of the Healing Buddha.”

See the mandalas.

We began by studying about Tibet, its people and its history. We studied about meditation and made Mandala’s. A Mandala is used in Hinduism and Buddhism. “A mandala is a source of meditation that the Tibetans use to show your soul and trying to get to the center or to show the universe and everything that is in it.”

Nick’s mandala:

On the outside there is lake of blood from people trying to get to the center. Then there is lighting for the people who crossed the Blood Lake. Then is the hunted gold mine. Most people run out of the hunted gold mine because they were scared. The explosives, they sense motion, then they explode. The temple is guarded by four guards at each entrance. Once inside the temple you try to find what you need. Something to drink…. PEPSI!

(Via Discordian Research Technology News)

Sometimes it's too easy

The University of Missouri is having a hard time finding someone to fill the Kenneth Lay Chair of Economics.

The University of Missouri-Columbia is still seeking someone to fill the professorship donated by Kenneth Lay, the MU alumnus indicted on charges related to the fall of Enron Corp., the company he once led.

The campus issued a three-sentence statement this morning after federal authorities unsealed an indictment against Lay that charges 11 counts of wire fraud, securities fraud, and making false and misleading statements. “While University of Missouri-Columbia officials understand that Ken Lay has been indicted, they feel it is important to let the judicial process run its course before taking any action,” the statement read. “The university will not speculate on any future actions.”

In 1999, Lay donated Enron stock to finance a chair in his name. MU sold the stock for $1.1 million and placed it in an endowment. Advertisements for the chair were posted as recently as February, but the position has remained vacant since Lay’s donation.

Go figure.

(Via Fark)

I'm feeling safer all the time

Americans need to watch what dialogue they write in the margins of crossword puzzles.

“How are you?” asked the airport security person who popped up beside me on my way to baggage claim.

“Uh, fine — thanks,” I replied, wondering, why are you asking?

As if she’d read my thoughts, she told me there had been complaints about me on the airplane. Then she asked to see the crossword puzzle I’d been working on during the flight. Huh? I thought. Talk about being puzzled! Still, my grin was smug as I handed it over. I’d just completed the Friday New York Times puzzle, for the first time ever.

But the agent ignored the crossword, turning the paper sideways to read a line I’d scribbled in the margin: “I know this is kind of a bomb.”

She pointed to the sentence, her finger resting on the word “bomb.” “What does this mean?” she demanded.

Suddenly a light went on in my head. I remembered the passenger on my left leaning forward in his seat as I scribbled while we waited for takeoff. Seconds later, he’d clambered hastily over me without apology to make his way to the front of the plane. I’d assumed intestinal complications, but now that I thought about it, he hadn’t used the bathroom. He’d spoken briefly with the flight attendants and returned to his seat. As the security woman looked at me, I now realized the passenger had been about as interested in my puzzling prowess as she was.

“I know this is kind of a bomb” is what I imagine Bucky, my main character, would say to Julie, his love interest, in the critical scene of my novel. I explained to the security woman that this is what happens when a 42-year-old man who is to literature what a karaoke singer is to opera tries to put words in the mouth of a fictional 19-year-old.

I opened my laptop and showed her shining example after shining example of similarly awful dialogue. […]

Carted away, the writer is faced with the pitch meeting from hell.

Without further explanation, they took me to the onsite police station, where I waited for an “interview” with the Transportation Security Administration. By then I was being accused of writing “bomb” on a piece of paper and waving it around for people in the back of the plane to see. While two policemen guarded the door, the honcho behind the desk informed me that my choice of dialogue was unfortunate, that life was not a stage play and that the tiniest thing can ignite fear in American travelers these days. He wanted a summary of my novel’s plot to get the context for why I’d written what I had.

I panicked. If five years of working on this narrative couldn’t liberate me from software sales, how was a five-minute pitch going to keep me out of jail?

I think this one is probably even worse that the guy who couldn’t fly because he was reading an Edward Abbey novel.

(Via The 18½ Minute Gap)

You should not be a zombie dragon, powerful in life, unstoppable in death

Best personal ad ever.

I weigh approximately 175 pounds (subject to g = 9.8 m/ss), and am neither a dragon nor a pinata. […] You should like words, science, and video games. But you shouldn’t be ugly either. Or male. Or a zombie dragon, powerful in life, unstoppable in death.

Go read the rest. It has illustrations. And a flow chart.

I hope this guy is getting laid like a rock star.

(Another link shamelessly lifted from Discordian Research Technology News)

You are when you eat

Ever wonder what the Vikings ate when they set off to explore the new world? How Thomas Jefferson made his ice cream? What the pioneers cooked along the Oregon Trail? Who invented the potato chip…and why? Welcome to the food timeline. This is what we’re all about.

Read a book; get a life

A survey titled Reading at Risk reports:

Fewer than half of Americans over 18 now read novels, short stories, plays or poetry; that the consumer pool for books of all kinds has diminished; and that the pace at which the nation is losing readers, especially young readers, is quickening. In addition it finds that the downward trend holds in virtually all demographic areas. […]

The survey also makes a striking correlation between readers of literature and those who are socially engaged, noting that readers are far more likely than nonreaders to do volunteer and charity work and go to art museums, performing arts events and ballgames. “Whatever good things the new electronic media bring, they also seem to be creating a decline in cultural and civic participation,” Mr. Gioia said. “Of literary readers, 43 percent perform charity work; only 17 percent of nonreaders do. That’s not a subtle difference.”

And here I thought Flowers for Trinitron was satire.

Time to buy new stuff!

Teresa Nielsen Hayden has a great article on the current color shift.

We’re going through one of those periodic big shifts in fashionable colors. IMO, the last really big one of those was at the end of the 80s, when blues went more cyan, reds lost most of their blue undertones, and yellow came back into the palette. They all looked good against black. […]

I’ve known people who think official color reassignments are a conspiracy theory. The short answer is that they are a conspiracy, but they aren’t theoretical.

I’m so happy to be hopelessly out of fashion…

Looking out for the workers

Microsoft’s latest FUD about open source software: it costs jobs.

At the roundtable, Gates, also Microsoft’s chief software architect, emphasised how damaging open source software can be. “If you don’t want to create jobs or intellectual property, then there is a tendency to develop open source.”

Gee, and I wonder just whose job he’s worried about?

And by banned, I mean totally fake!

You remember Real Ultimate Power, the Official Ninja Webpage.

Hi, this site is all about ninjas, REAL NINJAS. This site is awesome. My name is Robert and I can’t stop thinking about ninjas. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:



  1. Ninjas are mammals.

  2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.

  3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Well, Robert’s got a book out.

Basic reasons why you should buy REAL Ultimate Power—The Official Ninja Book.



  1. It will teach you about ninjas.

  2. Ninjas are awesome.

Basic reasons why you shouldn’t buy REAL Ultimate Power—the Official Ninja Book



  1. You’re a moron.

  2. You’re an idiot.

And to publicize his book, it looks like he’s made up this story about it being banned in Nebraska.

The incident occurred at Carol Miller’s Nebraska home on Friday. According to Ms. Miller, her two sons, Mathew, 13, and Zachariah, 15, had obtained a copy from the bookstore and were “diddling around with it in the living room.” As they were doing so, Miller states that the boys became “rambunctious and uncontrollable” and excited their family dog to jump up and bite their baby brother’s lip.

This is supposedly an AP story, yet doesn’t seem to exist anywhere other personal web page at UCLA imitating a copy of an MSNBC story. And it doesn’t appear in searches on MSNBC. And it has typos. And it looks suspiciously like an ad for Robert and Real Ultimate Power.

But it still works as free publicity — heck, I’m commenting on it in public right now.

Photographing While Brown

In this revolting story, a photography student is harassed by private security, police, and Homeland Security for photographing the Ballard Locks near Seattle while having brown skin, even as they ignored paler photographers.

You can read his own account at his blog, Brown Equals Terrorist — look for the Artist’s Statement. (Indirect link due to the Artist’s Statement being supplied by mirrors and I don’t trust those links to stay stable.)

That’s not what I want America to be.

But a Seattle photographer is planning a mass photo shoot at the Locks in protest.

Now, that’s what I want America to be!

We've swapped Bob's regular coffee with...

Y’know what’s wrong with milk, yogurt, chocolate, and coffee? There’s not enough blood in ‘em.

Scientists at the Voronezh State Technological Academy have developed a method for processing blood and turning it into food products such as milk, yogurt, chocolate, and coffee, Interfax quotes the academy’s administration as saying. Voronezh scientists noticed that every meat packing plant wastes about 7 tons of blood daily. […]

In related news, vegans just started reading chocolate products’ ingredient lists that much more carefully.

(Via Vegan Porn)

LIVE! NUDE! BLUEBLOODS!

The children of privilege subjected to twisted eugenic experimentation! Nude photos of Hilary Clinton. And George Bush. And Miss Manners. The Strange Case of the Ivy League Posture Photos has got everything but Elvis!

One afternoon in the late 1970’s, deep in the labyrinthine interior of a massive Gothic tower in New Haven, an unsuspecting employee of Yale University opened a long-locked room in the Payne Whitney Gymnasium and stumbled upon something shocking and disturbing.

Shocking, because what he found was an enormous cache of nude photographs, thousands and thousands of photographs of young men in front, side and rear poses. Disturbing, because on closer inspection the photos looked like the record of a bizarre body-piercing ritual: sticking out from the spine of each and every body was a row of sharp metal pins.

It seems it was standard practice for decades at several Ivy League schools to photograph incoming freshmen in the nude as part of student orientation. Miss Manners comments on it (while pointing out Mona Lisa Smile’s shortcomings.)

There are censored photos here and here, and uncensored negatives in an article in this magazine (pdf.)

All links are from this Metafilter thread where there are links to even more articles on the subject.

Fanboy envy

Yowzer. Some dude has amassed a complete collection of every comic DC has published.

For those of you who have trouble visualizing the enormity of the task, that’s over 30,000 individual comic books! Amazingly, with the exception of a small handful of items toward the end of the quest, this collection was achieved the old-fashioned way with a lot of legwork and mileage, scouring comic shows and stores large and small from coast to coast. Almost no Internet usage was involved in assembling this amazing collection.

“No bits were harmed in the making of…”

Among the more esoteric items in the collection is the two-volume set of Cancelled Comics Cavalcade, published by DC in 1978. With a print run of only 35 copies, these books contain stories left over following the infamous “DC Implosion.” Printed for copyright purposes, these were distributed internally to creators whose work it featured. […]

The almost final book in the collection was the romance title Girls’ Love Stories #56, a nothing-in-particular issue of a nothing-special title that was simply frustratingly difficult to locate. Acquired in late 2002, this was thought to be the end of the long road, until the discovery of the obscure Golden Age DC comic, the Fat and Slat Joke Book. Once this additional piece became known, a copy was acquired within a couple of months, in early 2003.

I wonder if he’d be my new best friend?

If it weren't for conventions...

Talking with the booth babes at a gamer convention:

I ask if she’s comfortable with so many guys posing with her. “It’s weird when they put their arms around me,” she replies, “but then I feel them shaking and I’m like, whatever, if it’s so important to you … it’s funny when guys come up to me and tell me that it’s their first time touching a girl.”

Captured

Finding Bobby Fischer:

Former world chess champion Bobby Fischer, wanted since 1992 for playing a tournament in Yugoslavia despite U.N. sanctions, was detained in Japan for an apparent passport violation and will be deported to the United States, media reports said.

Fischer, was stopped at Tokyo’s Narita International Airport on Tuesday as he tried to go to the Philippines, an airport official said on condition of anonymity.

The stakes are high.

Fischer spoke arrogantly to the press about the irrelevance of the sanctions, and practically dared the United States to keep him from playing. Annoyed, Washington decided to make an example of him; the Department of the Treasury issued a cease-and-desist letter to Fischer, stating that if he played chess in Yugoslavia, he would be in violation of Executive Order 12810. The penalty for defying the order was a $250,000 fine, ten years in prison, or both.

The above article also details what a nutcase Fischer has become.

Grandma-fu

Your burglar style is no match for my grandmother style!

Vasquez first tried to enter the woman’s home through a window around 1 a.m. Saturday but the glass broke, which woke up the woman, according to Zill. […] The two eventually calmed each other down and sat on the couch. But as soon as they did, Vasquez’s stomach growled and as most grandmothers would, she promptly stood up, went to the kitchen and got her guest something to eat, Zill said.

She offered him eggs, but according to Zill, the burglar wanted a banana and a glass of milk instead. […] The woman then pulled out some pictures of Saint Theresa and a church nametag and prayed next to him, hoping he was religious. She also showed him pictures of her grandchildren and shared stories about them, according to police.

Eventually, Vasquez needed to use the restroom. Demonstrating that manners must never be forgotten, even during a home invasion, when he returned from the facilities, Vasquez thoughtfully communicated to the woman that he had used the last of the toilet paper, Zill said.

He then sat back down, and promptly fell asleep.

My Pet Goat

The children’s book that Bush continued to read for 7 minutes after being told about a plane hitting the WTC was My Pet Goat. Check out its Amazon reviews.

I just couldn’t put it down! Certainly much more interesting than Richard Clarke’s memo of August 6, 2001 entitled “Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States”.

Why, hell! Clarke didn’t include any illustrated pop-ups!

(Via Xoverboard)

What? The bad guys aren't simply crazy?

Terrorism won’t be in the next edition of the DSM.

Terrorists are sane and not paranoid madmen, a leading expert says.
Dr Andrew Silke, a UN advisor and forensic psychologist at Leicester University, says terrorism is a political, not a psychiatric diagnosis. He said legal reports showed members of groups such as Al-Qaeda were motivated by violent events and the desire for revenge.

Them crazy head-shrinkers. Next, they’ll be telling us it’s more complicated than that the terrorists just hate freedom.

Terrorists want Kerry!

Right-wing spin:

In March of this year, al Qaeda turned the Spanish election on its head with its railroad bombing and defeated the favored candidate from the party of pro-Iraq war President Jose Maria Aznar and elected an anti-war socialist instead. […]

Bush’s surrogates should bring to America the message that the terrorists would be overjoyed to see the end of his presidency.

During the Cold War, American politicians regularly used to campaign as the candidate the Russians wanted to lose. Bush’s people should begin to speak of the message a Kerry election and a Bush defeat would send to the terrorists. The Spanish example is worth citing.

It is obvious that Osama and his allies all want Bush out. It might profit Bush’s supporters (though not the president himself) to point out this obvious fact to the American people.

A take on the Spanish example from those well-known left-wing extremists at the Cato Institute.

According to the conservative conventional wisdom, Spanish voters, in an appalling act of cowardice, reacted to the terrorist bombings in Madrid by ousting the party that had loyally supported the Bush administration’s war on terror, and especially the war in Iraq.

Such an interpretation profoundly misreads the election results. […]

The outcome of Spain’s election was a referendum on Iraq policy, not policy toward Al Qaeda. Allegations of appeasement are a despicable slur against a population that has already suffered grievously.

Everyone in the blogosphere linked to Homeland Security studying how the elections could be delayed in the event of a terrorist attack, leading to speculation that Bush could be the first president to have been elected for neither of his terms.

Now, if the terrorists want Bush out, and a terrorist attack would delay the election, potentially keeping Bush in, then just exactly who would benefit from a terrorist attack prior to the election?

Actual Al-Qaeda statement:

Kerry will kill our nation while it sleeps because he and the Democrats have the cunning to embellish blasphemy and present it to the Arab and Muslim nation as civilisation. Because of this we desire you (Bush) to be elected.

And speaking of subverting democracy, go read Billmon on the End of the Third Republic.

Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine

Rasputin was hard to kill.

[Prince Felix] Yusupov invited Rasputin to his palace on the pretext of his wife Irina needing his attentions as a healer. In a dining room in the palace basement, the two plied their guest with poisoned wine and cakes; when the Siberian peasant failed to die, they repeatedly shot Rasputin in the chest, back and head, and beat him around the head with a dumb-bell handle. They then tied the purported corpse into a sheet and dropped it through a hole in the ice into the river Neva, where the sturdy peasant finally drowned, having drifted under the ice, still fighting to free himself.

Even harder to kill is the story that his penis was preserved.

Mike Augustine, of Davenport, a small ocean-side community north of Santa Cruz, was forthcoming. Hell, yes, he’d owned Rasputin’s penis. In 1994 at a storage locker sale he’d bought as a job lot the effects of a Dr Roberta Ripple, onetime president of the Santa Monica Writers Club. Her possessions included her own unpublished stories of World War II women - The U.S. and US and the intriguingly titled Steel Ships and Iron Women - as well as three type-written manuscripts by Marie Rasputin - a hagiography of her father, My Father Rasputin,(with assistance from Roberta Ripple) a sub-Zhivago story of a Russian princess at the time of the revolution My Boots Are Narrow, and a short article entitled ‘Wreck of An Empire’.

Among these papers, in its own velvet pouch, was a wizened, black object resembling the uncircumcised helmet (glans) of a penis. An accompanying note identified it as Rasputin’s genital appendage and said that Marie Rasputin had been given it by Rasputin’s maid and former lover, who claimed she’d been present at his dismemberment. […]

The penis had resurfaced as a news item in The Daily Telegraph’s Weekend Section on (the date may be significant) 1 April 1995. A photograph shows someone called Victoria Blakey-Porter of Bonham’s holding between her thumb and forefinger an item which, the article says, was alleged to have been Rasputin’s penis. It had been included in a sale of relics and scientific instruments, along with Marie’s manuscript biography of her father, but on close examination in a pathologist’s laboratory, it turned out ‘not to be human’. It was, in fact, a desiccated sea cucumber. It was summarily withdrawn from the sale and, presumably, disposed of.

And now a Museum of Erotica in St. Petersburgh claims to display Rasputin’s penis.

Director Igor Knyazkin said he bought the object from a French antiquitarian for €6 600.

I haven’t been able to find anything on the web about the provenance of the French antiquarian’s instance of Rasputin’s penis.

I did not find this corroborating evidence particularly convincing.

Rasputin’s great grandchild John Nekmerson is currently living in the US. He is a grandchild of Matrena Rasputina, Rasputin”s favorite daughter. After her father was murdered, she fled to Europe and afterwards migrated to America, where she began working as a tiger-tamer. She died in 1977. Recently, John Nekmerson has visited St. Petersburg in order to see his ancestor”s private part with his own eyes. The great grandson exclaimed, “This is really it, I’ve got the same one!”

Title from the lyrics by Boney M.

There is no way this plan could possibly fail!

Sumana has a plan to reform the House of Saud.

Polluter Protection

Bush loses another vote.

The head of the Environmental Protection Agency for two Republican presidents criticized President Bush’s record on Monday, calling it a “polluter protection” policy.

Russell E. Train, who headed the EPA from September 1973 to January 1977 - part of the Nixon and Ford administrations - said Bush’s record on the environment was so dismal that he would cast his vote for Democrat John Kerry.

“It’s almost as if the motto of the administration in power today in Washington is not environmental protection, but polluter protection,” Train said. “I find this deeply disturbing.”

I used to post about environmental issues a lot. I don’t, much, anymore. It’s not that there isn’t plenty to say.

But environmentalism is a long-term concern. And it’s overwhelmed by my short-term concern of ending up a serf under a Republican Thousand Year Reich, with a boot stamping on my face forever.

First, let’s restore a democratically elected goverment to the U.S., and then you’ll hear me bitch and whine about Kerry’s environmental policies.

The Man Who Would Have Sold the Moon

Happy Moon Day. Celebrate by reading about this Moon rock heist.

My name is Orb Robinson from Tampa, Fla. I have in my possession a rare and multi-karat moon rock I’m trying to find a buyer for. The laws surrounding this type of exchange are known, so I will be straightforward and nonchalant about wanting to find a private buyer. If you, or someone you know would be interested in such an exchange, please let me know.


(Via Amygdala)

My favorite troll of the moment

OK, so I was looking up Garfield on the IMDB. There’s no need to get into why.

There, I found a discussion thread titled this film is racist,

Anyone notice that Garfield has black stripes, but his owner is white? Makes you think.

When a respondent asked “And that’s racist…..how?” the original poster replied “The stripes are black, the owner of the cat is white. It doesn’t take a genius to see the implications.”

His work done, the troll saId no more. But the thread generated dozens of responses, most from people rising to the bait.

In general, I hate to encourage trolling (then again, I also find it hard to get worked up over it occurring on IMDB discussion threads on Garfield.)

But this was nicely done.

Boiling point

Salon interviews Alan Moore:

Information is funny stuff. In some of the science magazines I read, I’ve found it described as an actual substance that underlies the entirety of existence, as something that is more fundamental than the four fundamental physical forces: gravity, electromagnetism and the two nuclear forces. I think they’ve referred to it as a super-weird substance. Now, obviously, information shapes and determines our lives and the way we live them, yet it is completely invisible and undetectable. It has no actual form; you can only see its effects. Information is a kind of heat. I would suggest that as our society accumulates information, from its hunter-gatherer origins to the complexities of our present day, it raises the cultural temperature.

I feel that we may be approaching a cultural boiling point. I’m not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing; I really don’t know because I can’t imagine it, quite frankly. But I think we may be approaching the point at which the amount of information we are taking becomes exponential, and I’m not entirely certain what kind of human culture will exist beyond that point. Except it will happen sooner than we expect, and the difference between us and the kind of people that will exist after such an event will be vastly different than the difference between us and the hunter-gatherer society we’ve evolved from.

Tuesday

Tuesday’s the cheap day at Berkeley’s second-run theatre, the Elmwood — all admissions are $4.50.

For whatever reason, they were playing a much less current than second-run film, Shaolin Soccer. I’d been interested in seeing this when it first came out, but hadn’t gotten around to it then.

Best. Movie. Ever.

Well, okay, maybe not. But it rivals Breaking Away for my favorite sports movie ever.

Subtle, it’s not — it takes unbridled joy in its excess. It’s over-the-top Hong Kong action film kung fu applied to playing soccer. And making buns. If you have ever enjoyed a silly kung fu fight scene, you should see this movie.

And if you want to see real Shaolin monks performing seemingly superhuman stunts, check out Shaolin science.

After the movie, I walked up Telegraph Ave. There was some stencil graffiti on the sidewalk: against a red star background, “Bush Kerry or Revolution. Choose or Lose.”

Closer to home, I saw a woman walking what, from a distance, I thought was a big black dog (I’m nearsighted and usually walk around without my glasses.) Closer, I saw that while it was as tall as a big dog, it wasn’t furry like a dog. And it had a big, saggy belly. And it didn’t have a dog’s face.

It was a sow. And not any cute little Vietnamese potbelly pig — she was big. She wasn’t on a leash; the owner was guiding her with a stick.

The pig was busily munching on some grass. The owner complained “You don’t have to eat every one!” and slapped her on the shoulders with the stick. The pig ignored her.

I stopped to watch. The owner turned to me to say “Just going around the block takes 45 minutes, ‘cause she has to stop to trim every blade of grass!”

Finally, the sow had her fill and wandered on.

Bat Out of Hell

Been meaning to post this all week… last Friday, Pocahontas and I went to see the Berkeley Opera’s current production, Bat Out of Hell, an adaptation of Strauss’ Die Fledermaus set in Berkeley in the Dot Boom era.

It’s a blast. Go see it this weekend — it’s the closing weekend. (And don’t be concerned if you think you don’t like opera — think of it as a musical with an orchestra and a high sung-to-spoken ratio.)

The adaptation is by David Scott Marley, who has posted several reviews on his blog.

I’m astounded how Scott works such intricate rhyming into an adaptation — the wordplay is my favorite part. And the plot is wonderfully cracked, and the performances are great. So if you’re a local, go see it!

Terrorists for Bush!

On Monday I wrote

Now, if the terrorists want Bush out, and a terrorist attack would delay the election, potentially keeping Bush in, then just exactly who would benefit from a terrorist attack prior to the election?

On Tuesday, Paul Krugman imagined an updating of The Manchurian Candidate, The Arabian Candidate.

In the original version of “The Manchurian Candidate,” Senator John Iselin, whom Chinese agents are plotting to put in the White House, is a right-wing demagogue modeled on Senator Joseph McCarthy. As Roger Ebert wrote, the plan is to “use anticommunist hysteria as a cover for a communist takeover.”

The movie doesn’t say what Iselin would have done if the plot had succeeded. Presumably, however, he wouldn’t have openly turned traitor. Instead, he would have used his position to undermine national security, while posing as America’s staunchest defender against communist evil.

So let’s imagine an update — not the remake with Denzel Washington, which I haven’t seen, but my own version. This time the enemies would be Islamic fanatics, who install as their puppet president a demagogue who poses as the nation’s defender against terrorist evildoers.

The Arabian candidate wouldn’t openly help terrorists. Instead, he would serve their cause while pretending to be their enemy.

After an attack, he would strike back at the terrorist base, a necessary action to preserve his image of toughness, but botch the follow-up, allowing the terrorist leaders to escape. Once the public’s attention shifted, he would systematically squander the military victory: committing too few soldiers, reneging on promises of economic aid. Soon, warlords would once again rule most of the country, the heroin trade would be booming, and terrorist allies would make a comeback.

Meanwhile, he would lead America into a war against a country that posed no imminent threat. He would insinuate, without saying anything literally false, that it was somehow responsible for the terrorist attack. This unnecessary war would alienate our allies and tie down a large part of our military. At the same time, the Arabian candidate would neglect the pursuit of those who attacked us, and do nothing about regimes that really shelter anti-American terrorists and really are building nuclear weapons.

Read the whole thing — it’s good.

Also on Tuesday, Aaron Swartz wrote a thematically similar entry in his blog.

The argument of Bush fans seems to be this: I like Bush. I don’t like bin Laden. Therefore bin Laden must not like Bush. But the objective facts seem to paint a different story: al-Qaeda loves Bush.

I’ve just got my finger on the pulse of disgruntled Bush opponents, or something.

On unfinished bestsellers

I put a hold on Dan Brown’s Angels & Demons, forerunner of The Da Vinci Code, at the Berkeley Public Library a long time ago — if I recall correctly, mine was the 54th hold on the book.

My turn finally came, and though I’m still finishing my Hugo and Retro-Hugo reading, I began reading it.

70 pages in, and it’s going back unfinished. Spoilers (for the first 70 pages, but, trust me, the book comes pre-spoiled) below:

Problem the first: imagine you’re the director of CERN. You find one of your physicists murdered, the word “Illuminati” branded on his body, and one of his eyes missing. You know the physicist had installed a retinal scan lock on his lab.

Do you…

a) Call the police, and contact your internal security so that they can contain the killer if he or she is still on the premises, begin to look for signs of intrusion, and post a guard on the physicist’s lab?

or

b) Look up “Illuminati” on the web, and finally have a Harvard symbologist flown in from Boston because he seems a credible reference on the subject, while keeping the murder secret and letting the trail go cold?

‘cause you’ve got to swallow b) just to get the first few pages in.

Then, having flown the symbologist in, shown him the body, and insisted that the missing eye is relevant, do you

a) explain that the physicist had a retinal scanner on his lab?

or

b) withhold the information for absolutely no reason other than to create a cheap cliffhanger, which any reader with any experience in reading espionage novels has already gotten, leaving him or her in the painful position of waiting for the protagonist to catch up?

Since I don’t presume my readers are idiots, I think you already know the answer to that one.

Speaking of cheap cliffhangers, Brown attempts to end each chapter with one, a technique typical of thrillers. For instance:

Langdon peered into the study and immediately felt his skin crawl. Holy mother of Jesus, he said to himself.

What could it be?! Keep in mind, this is from a man who’s just seen a mutilated corpse. After a short chapter set elsewhere, we find out… it’s a room decorated with a mixture of religious and scientific motifs, including a painting of the Virgin Mary. Yeah, that’d make anyone’s skin crawl.

Then came the killer…

We find out that the dead physicist had created anti-matter. The director is awestruck. This is submitted as proof that the physicist had succeeded in creating matter from nothing.

Anti-matter was first detected in 1932. Scientists have been creating it since 1955.

Yet Brown’s fictitious director of CERN says of anti-matter, “The substance you’re referring to only exists elsewhere in the universe. Certainly not on earth. And possibly not even in our galaxy!” Another physicist claims they are the first specimens of anti-matter.

And that’s when I threw this dishonest book across the room. (Figuratively — like I said, it’s a library book.)

PEBKAC

ComputerWorld exclusive! Must credit ComputerWorld! IT employees can be annoying.

The article takes the tack that IT workers don’t realize they’re annoying.

This isn’t true, in my experience.

Most of us know damn well we’re annoying.

We, the people

From Unknown News:

Remember Dirty Harry? Clint Eastwood as the anti-hero cop that plays by his own rules of right and wrong. An American tradition. Remember Rambo? Sylvester Stallone plays the returning war anti-hero veteran that has been screwed by the government and then must deal with a local community that has lost all sense of real American values and sense of fair play. Remember Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper in Easy Rider? Hopper’s one-finger salute at the end of the movie is an American standard and classic. America has always had a fondness for the underdog down-and-out anti-hero. That is America. That underdog down-and-out anti-hero is ‘we the people’.

In order to form a more perfect Union, we the people told King George III to “fuck off!” It is crude, it is vulgar, it is typically American. America and America’s people have always done everything the American way. With the old ‘one finger’ held proudly and high, we Americans go about our business our way.

The way you look is a lovely surprise; I love the twinkle in your eyes

What do you get when you cross Christian Metal Band or Star Trek Episode with Porn Star or My Little Pony?

My little Borg pony.

(Title from actual My Little Pony jingle)

Consume or pay!

There’s something wrong with this. I can’t quite put my finger on it…

Peoples Energy Corp., its profits lagging as more Chicagoans conserve, thinks customers should pay more for using less natural gas. The Chicago natural gas utility, which serves about 1 million customers in the city and northern suburbs, blames this year’s mild winter and customers’ conservation for a decline in gas consumption. […] “We’ve got to have some kind of (revenue) floor for the effects of conservation.”

Motherhood

Well, this throws a monkey-wrench into a lot of the “We need more education!” “No! We need no education!” rhetoric about teen pregnancies.

Susan L. Davies, of the University of Alabama at Birmingham led a team that questioned 455 low-income, African-American adolescent girls in Birmingham between 1996 and 1999. They found that nearly one-quarter — 23.6 percent — expressed some desire to become pregnant in the near future. […]

The most striking data revealed that adolescent girls with at least some desire to be pregnant were 3.5 times more likely to have a boyfriend or partner at least five years older, were more than twice as likely to have had sex with a casual partner in the six months prior to the survey and also more than twice as likely to have used condoms inconsistently in the prior month.

Chairman Bruce wins again

Life imitates a Sterling story, part #77832:

Gulab Devi, 45, of Harmara village in Rajasthan’s Ajmer district comes across as the quintessential rural woman from Rajasthan. Dressed in the traditional ghagra-choli (long skirt and blouse), Gulab is the sole bread-earner for her four children and her ailing husband who hasn’t had a job in the 24 years of their marriage.

Gulab is completely illiterate. Ask her what she does for a living, and she’ll tell you she makes electronic circuits and chargers for solar lighting panels. And before you start wondering whether you heard wrong, she’ll tell you that she also installs and maintains handpumps, water tanks and pipelines. Not only is she running her household comfortably with her salary from this work, she is also one of the most respected members of her community.

(Via Rebecca’s Pocket)

Geekiest joke ever

Read this if you fail to make your saving throw.

A fifth-level paladin drives his car to the repair shop…

Bush v2.0

Speculations on a second Bush term:

Musings about a second Bush term typically assume another four years of the same right-wing policies we’ve had to date. But it’d likely be far worse. So far, the Bush administration has had to govern with the expectation of facing American voters again in 2004. But suppose George W. Bush wins a second term. The constraint of a re-election contest will be gone. Knowing that voters can no longer turn them out, and that this will be their last shot at remaking America, the radical conservatives will be unleashed.

A friend who specializes in foreign policy and hobnobs with subcabinet officials in the Defense and State departments told me that the only thing that’s stopped the Bushies from storming into Iran and North Korea is the upcoming election. If Bush is re-elected, “[Dick] Cheney and [Donald] Rumsfeld are out of the box,” he said. “They’ll take Bush’s re-election as a mandate to wage the ‘war on terror’ everywhere and anywhere.” […]

Domestic policy will swing further right. A re-election would strengthen the White House’s hand on issues that even many congressional Republicans have a hard time accepting, such as the assault on civil liberties. Bush will seek to push “Patriot II” through Congress, giving the Justice Department and the FBI powers to inspect mail, eavesdrop on phone conversations and e-mail, and examine personal medical records, insurance claims, and bank accounts.

Right-wing evangelicals will solidify their control over the departments of Justice, Education, and Health and Human Services — curtailing abortions, putting federal funds into the hands of private religious groups, pushing prayer in the public schools, and promoting creationism.

Economic policy, meanwhile, will be tilted even more brazenly toward the rich. Republican strategist Grover Norquist smugly predicts larger tax benefits for high earners in a second Bush administration. The goal will be to eliminate all taxes on capital gains, dividends, and other forms of unearned income and move toward a “flat tax.” The plan will be for deficits to continue to balloon until Wall Street demands large spending cuts as a condition for holding down long-term interest rates. Homeowners, facing potential losses on their major nest eggs as mortgage rates move upward, might be persuaded to join the chorus.

Keepin' it extra real

Apparently, if you scratch the surface of a black conservative organization, you find a lot of rich white backers.

“Black Conservative to Rebut NAACP Leader’s Remarks in C-SPAN Interview,” read the press release from Project 21, an organization of conservative African-Americans.

I had read in Reuters that Kweisi Mfume, president of the NAACP, had called groups like Project 21 “make-believe black organizations,” and a “collection of black hustlers” who have adopted a conservative agenda in return for “a few bucks a head.”

So I tuned into C-SPAN with interest to hear what a leading voice in the black conservative movement had to say. But then a funny thing happened: the African-American spokesperson for Project 21 caught a flat on the way to the studio, and the group’s director had to fill in. And he was white.

As the segment began there was an awkward Wizard of Oz moment as C-SPAN’s Robb Harlston – himself black – turned to Project 21’s Caucasian director, David Almasi, and said, “Um…Project 21… a program for conservative African Americans…you’re not African American.”

It was a remarkable moment. A flat tire had led to a nationally-televised peek into what lies behind a murky network of interconnected black conservative organizations that seek ostensibly to bring more African-Americans into the conservative movement. But they’re not just reaching out to the community. They also speak out publicly for conservative positions that might evoke charges of racism if advocated by whites. And while that’s not to say that there aren’t some blacks who embrace conservative values, the groups that claim to represent them are heavily financed by business interests and often run by white Republicans.

Bush talks to the National Urban League:

Do you remember a guy named Charlie Gaines? Somebody gave me a quote he said, which I think kind of describes the environment we’re in today. I think he’s a friend of Jesse’s. He said, “Blacks are gagging on the donkey but not yet ready to swallow the elephant.”

Wish Fulfillment

Who wants to kill the president?

Recent widespread feelings of anxiety, frustration, and helplessness seem to have caused a curious blip on the cultural radar: Assassination has become the taboo du jour. Stephen Sondheim’s Assassins may be closing, but next month, I’m Gonna Kill the President!, a satirical play by the pseudonymous Hieronymous Bang, reopens at a top-secret downtown location. (We could tell you where it is—but then we’d have to kill you.) Jonathan Demme has remade The Manchurian Candidate with Liev Schreiber, Meryl Streep, and Denzel Washington, and Niels Mueller’s drama The Assassination of Richard Nixon, starring Sean Penn, is based on the true story of a salesman who attempts to murder the president. And although the novel won’t be released until August 24 (the eve of the Republican convention), Nicholson Baker’s Checkpoint has already caused a stir: One character ruminates at great length on his desire to assassinate George W. Bush.

(Via Follow Me Here)

Compare and Contrast

First amendment zone:

First amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amplifier

Danny went home and killed himself last night
She’d taken everything
She’d taken everything
She took his car
She took his bike
She took everything
She thought he liked
And what she couldn’t take, she found a way to break
But she left his amplifier

From “Amplifier” by the db’s

Danny might be with us today if he’d only had They Took Everything.

Every breakup, besides the emotional issues, has material issues as well. Unfortunately you and your partner aren’t the only thing that is “split up” when you go your separate ways. All of your stuff is too, and not always equally. When you are getting married you register for things then sit back and wait for the blenders and toasters. However, when you split up, then you really need those things, and there is no easy way to get help. Of course, all your friends feel bad for you, most of them even say “Do you need anything”? or “Please let me know if I can help”.

NOW THEY CAN!!

Some Alan Moore, some of the time

Yeah, another Alan Moore interview.

No, I really don’t care about the movies [based on his work.] Less and less as time goes on in fact. My position six months ago was that I didn’t want to see them or have anything to do with the Hollywood process and that was probably when I was at my warmest towards Hollywood. I’m afraid there has been some downturn since then, now I’ve said that I don’t want any of my works filmed again. Those works, which I don’t have any control over, such as this new Constantine that’s coming out, I want my name taken off them and any money that would have gone to me should be distributed amongst the artists. I just don’t want any connection between me and the movie industry at all. I think that it’s a joke quite frankly and it’s not a very intelligent joke. It seems to be a joke for children. Any kind of involvement with Hollywood is a waste of my time and there is no amount of money that can compensate for that. I think the industry is an embarrassment on all sorts of levels but sure there are bad comics, bad books and bad culture so it’s not just films that produce an overwhelming majority of unwatchable rubbish but films that are unwatchable rubbish cost $100 million. That is the budget of an emerging third world nation, which is the point where it goes from being merely tasteless to being kind of evil. If it’s worth reacting towards something then it’s worth overreacting. Don’t expect me to be championing League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 3: The Empire Strikes Back or whatever.

Wagging the dog

From the New Republic Online, Pakistan has been pressured to time their arrests of al Qaeda members for Bush’s political convenience (their website doesn’t make it clear, but the article was up at least as long ago as July 7.)

The Pakistanis “have been told at every level that apprehension or killing of HVTs [high value targets] before [the] election is [an] absolute must.” What’s more, this source claims that Bush administration officials have told their Pakistani counterparts they have a date in mind for announcing this achievement: “The last ten days of July deadline has been given repeatedly by visitors to Islamabad and during [ul-Haq’s] meetings in Washington.” Says McCormack: “I’m aware of no such comment.” But according to this ISI official, a White House aide told ul-Haq last spring that “it would be best if the arrest or killing of [any] HVT were announced on twenty-six, twenty-seven, or twenty-eight July”—the first three days of the Democratic National Convention in Boston.

Well, Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani was arrested over the weekend, and it was announced the day of Kerry’s speech at the DNC.

What a coincidence.