MemeMachineGo!

Your burglar style is no match for my grandmother style!

Vasquez first tried to enter the woman’s home through a window around 1 a.m. Saturday but the glass broke, which woke up the woman, according to Zill. […] The two eventually calmed each other down and sat on the couch. But as soon as they did, Vasquez’s stomach growled and as most grandmothers would, she promptly stood up, went to the kitchen and got her guest something to eat, Zill said.

She offered him eggs, but according to Zill, the burglar wanted a banana and a glass of milk instead. […] The woman then pulled out some pictures of Saint Theresa and a church nametag and prayed next to him, hoping he was religious. She also showed him pictures of her grandchildren and shared stories about them, according to police.

Eventually, Vasquez needed to use the restroom. Demonstrating that manners must never be forgotten, even during a home invasion, when he returned from the facilities, Vasquez thoughtfully communicated to the woman that he had used the last of the toilet paper, Zill said.

He then sat back down, and promptly fell asleep.